alexander kachfi
2 min read

Growing up I always knew I was different for a variety of reasons, but one of the reasons was a reason that I did not see as important, however to others it was a key element.

My race set me apart from others, especially in England being one of around 50 students in a school of over 1000.

I would get bullied, bricks were thrown at me, once I was even set on fire, all because of the colour of my skin and whilst happening when I was only about 12/13 years old.


alexander kachfiFast forward to living in New Zealand and coming to terms with my sexuality and I discover a different side to racism.

I was exposed to dating apps and the harsher side of the community with many of the profiles I saw either describing the one race they were exclusively searching for or putting other races down and diminishing their attractiveness due to their ethnicity or nationality.

I didn’t see how a community that is fighting continuously for equality, putting their lives on the line to have the world accept them as equals, would also belittle one another and not show equality towards themselves.

Unfortunately, I tolerated the racism from bullies who gained pleasure from racism, but having to deal with racism from within the community and from within the LGBTIQ+ family stung worse.

With the recent election in the United States of America, the fight for equality is more important now than ever, and with the world looking for its role model to aspire to, I want New Zealand to be that role model.

It’s a stretch but we have one of the most hard working and dedicated communities I’ve gotten to know, but we cannot set the bar to reach for other countries who are fighting for equality if we cannot get past inequality in our own community.

Alexander Kachfi with his fellow staff at Ivy Bar in Wellington
Alexander Kachfi with his fellow staff at Ivy Bar in Wellington

However, I know we are a community that can push past that because we are a unique, diverse culture.

Our differences should be embraced and celebrated but at the end of the day, we are all human beings with feelings and should acknowledge others who have gone through difficult times because of things such as their race.

We’re supposed to be a community that can look past that and raise one another up as we educate others about acceptance and love.

I now have a family of queens, kings, bartenders and active members of our LGBTI+ community who look out for me, know me as Alex and don’t just see me for my race.

I want us to set the example to the wider community that racism is getting old and we need to move on and accept each other for who we are.
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For more on Alexander and the other finalists of Mr. Gay New Zealand visit the website

Last Updated on Jan 27, 2017

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